I believe that we need to come back full circle.
We have gone from “never hug your child” to “if you spank your child you are an evil monster;” from “don’t ever let your child cry” to “picking up a crying child will spoil them.” I believe we need to take a step back, take a deep breath, find a middle ground, and realize there is no manual and that most of the time, our instinct is right.
I believe the key to child rearing is to remember that this person is growing. The tactics that worked and were good when they were 9 months old will not work when they are 6, and visa versa. I believe that respect and prevention and training are much more effective in the long run than lectures and punishment. I believe that temper tantrums are caused by frustration and can be almost eliminated if the child believes they are being listened to and truly understood. I believe that we should remember that our children are human beings, given to us by God to train and raise, and that we should respect them as well as love them and therefore should not use discipline that embarasses or shames the child in any way. I believe that “but it works” is the worst argument in the world to justify any discipline method to be used on a child. I believe that children naturally desire to be helpful and to please. I believe that it is impossible for an infant to be manipulative. I believe that learning is natural and should be fun. And, frankly, I believe we read too many books. Or possibly not enough.
